Dating Around the World
Every culture has its own unique and diverse customs when it comes to dating. Dating someone from a different culture and lifestyle can be exciting. Yet, sometimes it can be difficult as things get “lost in translation.” It’s common for the French to publicly display their affection on the street, such as having a long, passionate kiss without anyone batting an eye. Whereas if you did that in Vietnam, it would be considered rude and inappropriate. What’s your normal (most likely) might not be their normal. Here are some interesting dating insights around the world!
Asking Out:
So who asks who out? Before you ask someone out, you might want to check if they are related to you... In Iceland, they have a website called “Íslendingabók” (the Icelander book), and it’s a whole family tree of Iceland (all the way up to the Viking ages, how cool!). Icelandic people sometimes check this to see how related they are to someone they’re talking to. You don’t want to date anyone in 1st to 4th place, which means you are closely related. Anything after 4th place, you are pretty much safe. The majority of cultures around the world still emphasize traditional gender roles when dating, especially within heterosexual relationships. If a man and woman go on a date together, the man is expected to make a move and ask her out. In Argentina, there’s this concept called Chamuyo, which is tips and pickup lines on how to ask out a woman. Perhaps, you are shy and need your friends’ support. Well, in Japan, it’s pretty common to do a “gou kon” (group date), where friends invite other acquaintances to go on a group date. This allows people to meet the opposite gender and typically set up with 3 men and 3 women in karaoke bars or drinking parties. Gou kon is a popular way to meet a potential partner after graduating from university, as the opportunity to meet up with new people becomes limited due to work. If you are unsure how to approach someone, you are in luck. In China, there are dating schools dedicated to teaching people how to date (literally). Classes range from grooming to dating etiquette (I know a few people who could take up some of these courses).
Who pays for the bill?
Within most heterosexual relations, it is expected that the man always pays. “That’s just the default when the bill comes out,” said from a patriarchal society. People from countries such as Morocco, Serbia, and Mexico have a strong tie to their traditional gender roles, where the man must take the lead from asking out to picking up the tab. How chivalrous. Yet, in some countries like Italy, Germany, and Australia, it doesn’t matter who pays for the bill; splitting the bill is more common than you think. And there’s nothing wrong with that, either! There have been debates on who should pay the bill. I firmly believe that if someone asks you out, they should pay for dinner regardless of gender identity. Within the LGBTQ+ community, 62% of LGBTQ+ respondents say the person who initiated the date should pay.
To kiss or not to kiss on the first date?
In the United States, many would expect a potential kiss toward the end of a first date. Whereas in Brazil, kissing can happen right after striking up a conversation, that is, if you both enjoy each other’s presence (and, of course, consensually). Brazilians love showing physical affection in the streets and on the sheets. In contrast, kissing would be considered activities for only long-term relationships couples in the Vietnamese dating culture. The most PDA you will see for a Vietnamese couple is wearing matching t-shirts or hand-holding. Anything more than that would be behind the doors.
Needless to say, these are some cultural generalizations on dating from all over the world, and each experience is individual and different. Most Western and developed countries have a more open and casual outlook when it comes to dating (and even sex). Yet, there has been an increase in more relaxed attitudes towards dating in big metropolitan urban cities in conservative countries. It is essential to end by saying that when dating interculturally, you must be open-minded, efficiently communicate with one another and be enthusiastic about learning new, unfamiliar ideas. So what are some sexual and dating norms from your culture?
